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Have you ever felt so grateful towards everything? Knowing that how God loves you to the utmost, and He REALLY knows what's best for you, even in the quirkiest, 'meanest' way?

I have and I do.

Sitting on my second floor balcony, enjoying the fresh air with the intriguing scent of Green Tea Latte getting into my nostrils, I'm feeling great. Not just having a state of good mood, but I really feel great --- other than I've gained a few kilograms --! I realized how amazing my life has been. Peculiarly, it's mostly not because of the fortunate events, but because of my misfortunes.

Falling into the wrong pit, making wrong decisions, feeling miserable, breaking other people's hearts, crying my heart out, blinding my own eyes, forgetting to love myself, yes.

All those tears-provoking events are the ones that have made my life amazing. Why is that so?

Because those are the events that have made me grow, making me who I am today. 

Grateful, happy young lady. NOT (faking-to-be)grateful and (faking-to-feel)happy young lady.

There's a huge difference in there, yea?

After all this time, turns out all that I have to do to stop faking is to let go. Not letting go something/someone/whatever in particular, but letting go my own feeling. My feeling on how I hate myself for being completely dumb because of how chaotic my life has been, NOT because of others but because of myself. Being so weak and insecure, but do nothing about it. Pretending to be tough yet broken in the inside. No.

I have to let that go. I have to stop being so tough, if clearly, I'm not. 

Letting go doesn't mean you lose. 

Letting go doesn't mean you surrender.

Letting go doesn't mean you are a weakling. No.

Letting go means maturity. 

Letting go means knowing your limits, knowing what's best for you.

Letting go means loving yourself.

When you succeeded on doing so, believe me. It feels greater than everything, even greater than spending 12 hours of your day sipping green tea latte with the hottest celebrity in town. It feels like feeling new.

And, the greatest thing is, you really get to be tough right now. Proving to yourself how tough you are.

People might think that you're so tough, but in the end, the only one you should prove your toughness to is yourself. Voila! 

After you've done so, letting go, ask this to yourself.

"Hello, nice to meet you. Who are you? You're looking great!!"

Because, congratulations, you are new. Enjoy your brand new life! This is way easier than reincarnation, aye?