Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Life in NYC

Yello all.

It's been (really) a long time ago since I last posted something decent to read. It has been 4 months since I landed my feet in the concrete jungle.
Due to some cultural shock, when I first saw the New York, I didn't feel anything at all. The first thing that came into my head was : "Shit, I'm going to be stuck here for 4 years."
The idea of feeling lucky of being given the opportunity to be in this magical place, just...poof. vanished, just like Cinderella when the clock strikes 12. Just like magic.

For the last 4 months, I haven't live my supposedly-exciting-and-intriguing life to the fullest. I kept on looking back, towards what I left back then in my hometown. Kept on missing friends back at home, kept on thinking the shits I left back at home, and unconsciously, I was walking backwards yet the life was moving forward.

It was like being on a treadmill really. You were facing backwards, yet the treadmill (a.ka the life) was moving forward. When you realized the magical thing that you were supposed to see if you walk forward, it's all too late. Because it happened, in the past.

Life was not good back then. I was stupid.
But then again, you know what, it's in the past.

Now, I am being faced with two choices, to keep on walking backwards, or turning my body into the right direction to make peace with the treadmill.

I choose the latter.
So yes, now I can say...

New York City, bring    it     on.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Move out.

Hello people! I know I know, I haven't blogged in quite a long time. The thing is, I've lost my interest in blogger. So..... I'm moving on to tumblr! Come come and visit my new private space.


Friday, February 11, 2011


You have me at hello.

Shannon Calvert’s portfolio site has some excellent photo manipulation work. Great stuff! Have a look. Link here.

--- taken from

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Tidak tau ya, rasanya kesepian. Sepi, sepi, sepi, hati ini sunyi. Yang ada hanya suara daun yang bergemerisik...... Tunggu. Bergemerisik dengan apa? Bahkan daun pun kehilangan pasangannya beradu suara.
Yang ada hanya sepi, sepi, sunyi. Semua hangar bingar tertelan penat. Tertelan ganasnya kedisiplinan dan tanggung jawab. Penat yang ada hanya penat.

Penat, penat, lelah. Penat rasanya, punggung ini, jari ini, mata ini, badan ini. Rasanya mereka butuh asupan atau suntikan morfin. Ya, biar sekedar agar mereka melega saja. Melepaskan segala tensi yang rasanya kian hari semakin menggerogoti hingga keropos. Sepertinya seiring berjalannya jaman, tidak hanya ada osteoporosis saja. Zaman telah berkembang kawan, penyakit pun tidak mau kalah.

Hati, hati, hati-hati. Apa artinya? Dua hati? atau maksudnya saya harus berjaga - jaga? Maksudnya apa? Berjaga - jaga untuk dua hati? Absurd. Aneh. Siapa sih penempa kata? Siapa sih si ibunya kata? Siapa yang mempunyai gagasan seperti itu, mengawinkan hati dengan hati yang lain? Apa maksudnya kita harus berhati - hati? Berhati - hati memilih hati yang lain?



Kenalkan saya pada si ibu kata.

Monday, February 7, 2011


Things, I really, really want the most, like, the most right now.

taking pictures of random cute photos at the streets, making silly short films, having new cool 'necklace' for my accessories booth, capturing the moment, and most importantly, having new budddddddy!

staying fit and in addition, eliminating the fat inside this body, nothing is better and more fun than doing PARKOUR. Only if, I have the power to wake up early in the morning. And, able to convince PapaRuntung to drive me there. 

and... YOGA CLASS!


Thursday, February 3, 2011

Blink of an eye

Time is indeed the most powerful and desired thing in everyone's life. People yearn for more time, because they think that by earning more of it, will make their lives easier. 24 hours a day is simply not enough.
But, come to think of it, time is also the most dreadful and easily forgotten thing in life.
Time can pass you by without you even realizing it. By the time you really have opened up your eyes, all you can see are wrinkles and, as the cherry on top, how you have not made use of your time to the utmost. Now, I really know why my father has always asked me to manage my time more wisely. No father wants his child to wake up one day with dissapointments and regrets. Having to be able to manage your time wisely, is as same as being able to take down a beast. Imagine Disney's Beauty&The Beast, when Belle is finally able to cast the Beast off the curse. Time is like the Beast. Being able to manage it, is as same as taming a beast, which in fact is a beauty in disguise.
Time is your best friend, if you learn how to control it. I haven't able to tame it myself, I'm still learning and will always learn until... well, I can't even decide.

A few days ago, I realized something. How time has passed as fast as a blink of an eye. Everyone moves on, everyone is writing a new chapter of their lives' novels. And, how I feel amused, that because of being completely occupied for the last couple of months lately, has made me completely left behind. From my friends, and everything. The moment I started to catch up, the moment I realized how their lives has passed by without me in it. Because I'm too busy with myself. Come to think of it, it's my consequences. Everything has its phases, and this is the time for me to take care of myself. And, only myself.
It doesn't mean I don't care about what's out there that happen around my friends' lives, it's just, I have set my priorities. I've made mistakes before, for thinking about others too much, that I was all broken and shattered inside, being left out in my own self, being left behind in my own self. That's even worse. Not going back there again.
I love my friends, I love them, really. But, I know, they'll understand. I know they love me too. I believe they're thinking the same thing. It's time for us to make up ourselves. Make ourselves better. And after then, let's get reunited and see how each and everyone of us has grown into someone that's somewhat amazing.

Time will tell.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Saya untuk Ayas

Kepada : _____________

Kamu itu kenapa sih? Ngeluh mulu, ngeluh mulu. Katanya capek? Terus, mau sampe kapan capek? Capek itu ada batasnya. Sama kayak kalo marah juga ada batasnya. Seneng ada batasnya, sedih ada batasnya. Adil kan? Terus kalo capek dan bermalas - malasan menurut kamu gak ada batasnya? Astaga, kemana sih otak kamu? Kecapekan sampe jadi sekecil kacang polong? Semangatnya dimana? Kamu punya cita - cita kan? Saya tau kok. Kamu punya mimpi gede banget kan? Saya tau. Kamu mau bikin keluarga kamu seneng kan? Saya tau. Yang kamu gak tau, kamu gak sendirian.

Di luar sana, banyak banget yang punya mimpi kayak kamu. Di luar sana, banyak banget yang mau bikin keluarganya seneng. Di luar sana, banyak yang punya cita - cita. Dan semuanya mau ngewujudin itu. Sekarang masalahnya, siapa aja yang paling lama tahan.
Lah, kamu? Mulai aja belom, kok udah lesu. Ayo dong! Saya sih percaya banget sama kamu, kamu tuh pasti bisa. Ampun deh, saya mengenal kamu luar dalam bahkan gerak gerikmu saya tau. Saya yakin, kalau semua terjadi ada alasannya, dan setelah semua yang telah kamu lalui, kamu mau itu cuman sebatas jadi 'masalah' doang? Bukannya menjadi 'berkat'?

Semua itu bisa transformasi, metamorfosa, bilang aja gitu. Kupu - kupu bisa, manusia juga bisa, apalagi masalah. Yang orang - orang gak tau, masalah itu sebenernya ya kayak kupu - kupu. Awalnya jelek, jijik dan menakutkan (bagi beberapa orang), bentuknya ulat dan lengket. Tapi, setelah masa itu lewat, kadang orang salah liat. Mereka kira, masa ulatnya udah selesai. Justru salah, itu saat dimana semuanya baru dimulai. Saat kepompong. Saat berpikir, saat merenung. Baru disanalah, semuanya dimulai.
Masa penentuan.

Apakah si kepompong akan mati sebagai kepompong saja, atau dapat berubah jadi kupu - kupu.
Ya sama seperti masalah, apa kamu mau terus ngenang itu sebagai masalah, atau cepat - cepat merubah itu jadi berkat?

Itu pilihan kamu, loh.

Yang pasti saya percaya sama kamu, percaya banget. Semangat ya? Kamu itu luar biasa, semua orang luar biasa. Tapi, saya punya kepercayaan lebih untuk kamu. Sekali lagi, karena saya tau kamu.
Janji gak usah sama orang lain. Muluk - muluk, kejauhan. Janji sama saya, ya?

Mimpi itu ada.

Dari : Hati
Kepada : Kepala

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Motion Limited

Browsed through my archives, and found out that.... I had changed a lot.
From this quirky and all-blabbing with my second personality posts about stupid things happened around me, which I wanted to be funny --- I don't know, I guess they turn out to be cheesy and corny o.O,
To this all these melancholy posts. This is like a change that the Americans expect from Obama.
No, not that my change made all the promises Obama made during his campaign happen, no. It's just that, it really flipped. A hundred and eighty degrees, I supposed.

So, just curious, which one do you prefer most? The 'funny' or 'melancholy' posts? Won't effect the upcoming posts, once again just curious. Will be more than happy if you share your thoughts to me, either to my e-mail, or simpler than ever, tweet me! @Clatindaeng <-- Click on it! Gogogo!

Ticktock, I'm happily waiting!
Thank you, and loves!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Pixie Dusts

"It's no magic at all, it's no blessing from God at all, it's only a suggestion. 
Law of attraction, they call it."

Yes, you may say that. But have you ever considered, where does the suggestion, or law of attraction -- they call it, comes from?

Doesn't it from God, Himself?
The real truth is, we don't have to seek for miracle. Because God has planted all of the miracle inside of us. We just have to find the trigger to turn the miracle button inside of us on. It's there, inside of us. We pray not so the miracle will come to you, but to turn it on ---- and to keep it on.

Some people are too obsessed in miracles, they look for it everywhere. Under the table, under the bed, behind the clouds, inside the mountains, like everywhere. Possible or not possible. Have to say, how foolish they are. When they are too busy looking for them, they have missed all the miracles they're about to enjoy. They have missed the closest, most possible place where the miracle's house is located. 

It's there! Why bother looking for it elsewhere? It's inside you.

We are the miracle.


Signed in to userfly, and discovered that some of my readers come from abroad! So, decided to write more posts in english.
Thank you for reading this extremely random blog. Hope you like it though. These posts, I wrote, come spontaneously into my head. I wrote the first thing that came into my mind, so excuse the lack of continuity, from one post to another or even from one paragraph to another :B

Love you all!


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