10 THINGS THAT ARE WORSE THAN TURNING A YEAR OLDER
- A birthday kiss from an uncle with a bushy mustache
- A birthday kiss from an aunt with a bushy mustache
- Refrigerated rectal thermometers
- Teaching sex education to 7th grade boys
- Sliding down a bed of razors into a vat of alcohol
- Trying on last year's swimsuit
- Getting up in the middle of the night and stepping into something warm and squishy
- Finding out there was a mistake on your birth certificate and you're really FOUR years older
- Those stupid gag gifts you get when you turn a year older
- Not turning a year older
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